I went with You to go visit friends I hadn’t seen in a long while, (Long while being four to six months) and who I really hadn’t planned on visiting for a long while yet. But, You had renewed the acquaintance, and had invited me to go along with him. I did, because it was either go, or be ditched on a Saturday night, and I wasn’t about to do that again.

Our friends had just had a baby girl four weeks prior, and the moment I sat down, and soon as L. was able, she handed the baby over to me. Which was fantastic, really, because I love holding babies, actually. W. is a good baby, adorable in all the right places, as wiggly as a worm. She was also fussy, and didn’t want to quiet down until I was standing and moving around. Understandable really, because L. was more active at night while she was pregnant, working overnights and such, so it makes sense that W. is now active at night.

However, once W. was in my arms, I was sentenced to hold her for the rest of the evening. The others played Champions of Norath, while I sat in the back, holding the baby. I was really quite annoyed that no one even talked to me because they were so intent on their game, and I didn’t say much because I know Dustin hates it when I talk while he’s playing, so I figured they would to.

By the way, this video-game-playing-while-I’m-left-out is one of the reasons I didn’t particularly care about hanging out with these friends on a regular basis. Not once have they invited me to play with them, even though they play every time we hang out. Depressing, really.

While I was holding the baby for about two hours, I began to think about how when I had a baby, I’d be sentenced to the same fate. I know everyone says it’s different when it’s your own baby, but I think I’d still feel trapped. I remember looking down at W. face, and thinking to myself that I didn’t know if I really wanted to be responsible for such a little thing for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

While I want a baby (just one), holding someone else’s lets me delay in wanting one for that much longer. Which is a good thing, because I don’t see myself having one any time soon.

—”The One I’m Waiting For,” Mmhmm: Relient K