Because… Aliens

I have been watching a lot of Ancient Aliens on H21 mostly because I only watch about five channels and Ancient Aliens is nearly always on and I can watch that on repeat over and over and laugh about how ALIENS are the answer to everything.

Because... Aliens Meme

And as I watch2 my limited TV, I realise how old I am. I am so entrenched in my thought processes and opinions and so hard to sway me these days.

I mean, in no way do I believe it's possible that Aliens came and influenced ancient people. After all, why would aliens come and visit and give us the ancients their gods and massive buildings. Unless God came and beat up all the other aliens and told them all to go away and he is benevoliently protecting us from the universe while watching us and typing “SMH at all those people down there and their ridiculousness” on the alien version of Twitter.

But I can't stop watching/listening. For one, dude's hair does get bigger per season. Second, he does the hand thing every episode. Third, it's just plain ridiculous. I mean, tonight's episode is how the Norse gods were really aliens. And last week, I watched an episode where the Greek gods were aliens, and another on how Egyptian gods were aliens and how it's likely that King Tut's father was half human-half alien.

Just stop and think about that.

According to Ancient Aliens, literally every single god belief system evolved because of aliens.

Aliens who no longer choose to visit us, but 4000 thousand years ago stoped over all the time, like nosey neighbors poking their head over the fence.

Now, I'm not saying there are no aliens, but to think that they used to come by but no longer do is just completely bonkers.

But now I'm hooked and can't stop watching/listening to the show, because I can't wait for whatever crackpot theory they're using to tie aliens to history's biggest mysteries.

Can we please, though, solve the mystery of why the History channel and it's offspring shows more reality TV than history? Because I really miss what the history channel was, even that really long section when it was all Civil War all the time, and then it was Nazis-R-Us.

There used to be some really awesome History shows, and now I only get to see repeats on Netflix.

  1. Not really sure why their tag line is “More 2 History” when they show exactly the same amount of real history as the History channel, which is to say not much. 

  2. More accurately, listen passively while actively consuming other content elsewhere.