Super happy with the engagement pictures Erik and I took last weekend, and with the photographer. She's already got the edited photos for me, and triple the amount of photos we had discussed originally.

I am feeling like I'm getting stuff crossed off the wedding to-do list, and am looking forward to getting the save-the-dates designed this weekend. And my sister and I have narrowed down the bridesmaid dresses to two options, and the girls can cast their vote and pick amongst themselves.

Now to try to relax this weekend, because this work-week was super stressful.

As is usual for the sad sack that is me, I've been putting off writing. I've even been putting off reading. I've been putting off pretty much everything but living inside my own head and watching a never ending stream of Good Eats on youtube. Which makes me really hungry.

Since I love lists, and I love randomness, here's some random thoughts in list form:

• I am really bitter about Google sunsetting Google Reader. I might write a whole blog post about it, I might not. But at the moment, it sucks major. I'm not looking foward to audtioning replacements when I had that one figured out already.
• I read a post today over at Apartment Therapy about buying a keyboard specifically to teach you touch typing (so the keys were blank). It makes me sad that there are people who can't touch type¹, and who use only two fingers or what have you on both hands. I am not the greatest typist. I still suck with the numbers and punctuation on the numbers row. But I am typing this whole thing looking at the screen, not my hands. And at one time I was a two-finger typist. Then I wanted my typing speed to match my thoughts. Now I have opinions on what my keyboard needs and should be like.
• My nephew turned one over the weekend, and I managed to get his birthday present off before the big day. Not off on time for him to get it on the big day, but early enough for me to be able to say I was done before his birthday. Also, Gerard the Giraffe is officially the same size as him. They're like brothers and can share clothes.
• My cousin's boss is now a realtor, and she's being really persistant in having us switch realtors for the house hunt. I'm really sorry, but Erik is in charge with the house hunt, it's totally up to him. Stop texting me about it and trying to make me feel bad.
• My co-worker and I have a “bet” to see who can lose 5lbs in a week. Thank god we're both going to fail. But one day, we will actually go bike riding. My bike is actually chillin' in his office waiting for him to bring his bike in, since he's the one who has the bike rack and wants to go riding.
• Aside: I really wish there was such a thing as car accessory rentals. I'd love to be able to rent a bike rack for Erik's car so we could take our bikes with us when we go camping at the end of the month.
• My wedding dress is ready for pickup. OMG, it's real I'm getting married. I hope I love the dress as much now as I did three months ago when I picked it out.
• Also: now I need to get serious about getting healthy and dropping the pounds.
• Personal, bordering on TMI: I'm going back on birth control after three years off. I have an IUD, and I love it thank-you-very-much², but mine is the non-horomone one, and I'd really like to manage that time of the month and hopefully start skipping it entirely, especially for my honeymoon. Hoping that the pill will help my acne because it really began to crop up when I went off the pill.
• My friend Marie is amazing and I am a terrible person; she mailed me a book we had talked about swapping and a letter, and other than opening the package I haven't opened the letter yet. I like saving them for a little bit to have something to look forward to but it makes me weird and I really should read it and write her back.
• I love having a friend that I write letters to more than I talk to on the phone.
• I am dying to knit right now, so that's what I'm going to do. Working on a top for myself. Loving it so far.

1. Touch typing, if you're wondering, is the skill of typing while not looking at your hands, as opposed to hunt-and-peck methoods, or two finger typing or what not. [back]
2. Crazy the amount of people who try to talk me out of it, including my last OBGYN. My new one is completely understanding, and is down with me having it and birth control. [back]

This week I finished Gerald the Giraffe for my nephew 's birthday, and he even had enough time for a job interview before he shipped out for Oklahoma.

Looking forward to this weekend. Getting some wedding stuff done, hopefully getting some house stuff done, and finding time for a new craft project.

This weekends plans: finishing a birthday present, then digging in to the basket and working on some projects for myself.

And hopefully, seeing some more houses.

Today marks the 22 year of my grandfather's passing. Pictured above with his oldest son on the left, and my father on the right. These men, each one of them, passed far far too soon.

Sometimes I can't believe it's been 22 years since my grandpa has gone. 4 years this year since my dad. 2 years since my uncle. All of them, leaving my grandma devoid of men in her family, and her life.

I don't remember much about my grandpa. I was seven when he died. I remember him having lukemia, being sick in the hospital, drawing pictures for his hospital room, having to be snuck in to say goodby because there was a “no children allowed” rule. I feel like like gyped me as I never really got to spend time with either of my grandfathers¹. I don't remember what it's like to have a grandpa.

I do remember stories of my grandpa. He was married before; my grandma was his second wife, and they married when she was 17 and he was 26. He held a myriad of jobs, and was retired before my aunts graduated high school. He was a writer.

I'm sure it seems weird to do a memorial for a man who I can't really remember, on such an odd year. But the last few years have reminded me that we don't celebrate people like we should, and we forget people we should remember.

I wish I could remember my grandfather. I wish that my future children could have had the experience of their grandfather, who they will only know through stories and pictures.

I know that you never really truly know someone, but I am infinitely sad that I only got 7 years to know a man who shaped my whole family in ways I will never now understand.

1. While my Mom's father died more recently when I was 27, he lived on the east coast, and I saw him only rarely. [back]

I’ve been going through the ol’ blog archive, and am torn with such conflicting emotions.

1. It’s really sad to run across something that no longer works/is there. Like running across the first podcast post I did¹ and seeing that the podcast isn’t actually there. I depended on Odeo (which was before Twitter) and I don’t even know where I would find a copy of the old one to put back up there. 
2. I used to write about such mundane things. I wonder when I made the switch to thinking I had to write about big things ore deep thoughts. I used to post about papers I had due and how I was pretty sure I was going to fail math. And rain. I wrote about rain a lot.
3. I am really sad that I have years of non-blogging between then and now. It’s always nice to go back and look at what was important. And maybe seeing that that yarn that I had to have back in 2006 is still a work in progress sock today. And that a pair of socks that I was almost done with in 2006 were not finished until late 2008, early 3009. Enough that Erik remembers me working on the socks.
4. I love music. There are so many posts about music. And then of course the two years I used song lyrics for post titles.
5. Dedicated blog commenters. I feel so bad, like I neglected everyone. Whatever happened to Sachi, who commented almost every day? And Josh, now I just see his status updates on facebook.

I really really need to blog more. And remember that posting about mundane things are what I’m best at.

1. Hey, it was new, everyone was experimenting with podcasts those days. [back]

This is my plan for the weekend… Lots of cuddles with Erik, and maybe write some book reviews.

God damn it, conversation hearts. You’ve let me down once again.

I love conversation hearts. LOVE them. You know, when they’re the right hearts. My favorite candy is Necco wafers. Conversation hearts? Originally made by Necco. They invented them. I would look forward to Valentines day specifically for the Conversation Hearts. I would stock up when the hearts went half off. I’d be eating them through Easter.

But not any more.

Some

where in the near past, finding genuine “sweetheart” conversation hearts by Necco became a ridiculously hard endeavor   Sure, it’s super easy to find the small gift boxes of conversation hearts. But a bag of them? A bag of the large size? Apparently harder than finding the abominable snowman. It’s to the point that Erik actually gave up on trying to find me the one type of Valentine candy I actually adore. No box of chocolates for me, please give me conversation hearts.

This year, for the first time in how ever long, I actually found a bag of large Sweetheart conversation hearts. I even made sure they were made by the same company that makes Necco wafers. After all, I’ve been fooled by bags of hearts in the past.

I was looking forward to putting my candy hearts in my heart candy dish and eating them one by one…. Until I popped the first one in my mouth.

There was no warning on them, but they are not the same! They’re too fruity and tart. Not chalky enough. They don’t taste a thing like Necco wafers. If I hadn’t double checked the bag, I would have thought I bought the wrong kind again.

Instead, I have been let down. Once more in a long line of faulty conversation hearts. Turns out, in the years that I couldn’t find a bag of hearts, they went and changed the flavor.

I make a sad, sad proclamation: I will never again buy a bag of conversation hearts. They are dead to me. I will probably end up tossing out the ones I have long before I get around to eating this impostor candy.

It’s not worth it–the build up and then the let down. The anticipation and the bitter bitter dissapointment.

Oh well; I’ve got other candy to love. As long a my chocolate oranges don’t let me down, I’ll survive.