That’s not so sweet…

Conversation Hearts

God damn it, conversation hearts. You’ve let me down once again.

I love conversation hearts. LOVE them. You know, when they’re the right hearts. My favorite candy is Necco wafers. Conversation hearts? Originally made by Necco. They invented them. I would look forward to Valentines day specifically for the Conversation Hearts. I would stock up when the hearts went half off. I’d be eating them through Easter.

But not any more.


where in the near past, finding genuine “sweetheart” conversation hearts by Necco became a ridiculously hard endeavor   Sure, it’s super easy to find the small gift boxes of conversation hearts. But a bag of them? A bag of the large size? Apparently harder than finding the abominable snowman. It’s to the point that Erik actually gave up on trying to find me the one type of Valentine candy I actually adore. No box of chocolates for me, please give me conversation hearts.

This year, for the first time in how ever long, I actually found a bag of large Sweetheart conversation hearts. I even made sure they were made by the same company that makes Necco wafers. After all, I’ve been fooled by bags of hearts in the past.

I was looking forward to putting my candy hearts in my heart candy dish and eating them one by one…. Until I popped the first one in my mouth.

There was no warning on them, but they are not the same! They’re too fruity and tart. Not chalky enough. They don’t taste a thing like Necco wafers. If I hadn’t double checked the bag, I would have thought I bought the wrong kind again.

Instead, I have been let down. Once more in a long line of faulty conversation hearts. Turns out, in the years that I couldn’t find a bag of hearts, they went and changed the flavor.

I make a sad, sad proclamation: I will never again buy a bag of conversation hearts. They are dead to me. I will probably end up tossing out the ones I have long before I get around to eating this impostor candy.

It’s not worth it–the build up and then the let down. The anticipation and the bitter bitter dissapointment.

Oh well; I’ve got other candy to love. As long a my chocolate oranges don’t let me down, I’ll survive.

About Lisa Baker

Unsympathetic is the sentiments of Lisa Baker, a thirty-something working girl from the suburbs of California's capitol city. All opinions belong solely to her. If you disagree, get your own blog.