So, it turns out that E and I have been together for a whole year already. Which is some what of a shock, since I had to go and look up on my tumblr blog to find out the actual date, which was the Monday after a party where some of his friends came down to Chico to play dorky games with my friends. (Oh, and we heart MtG. Seriously.)
He and I have never been good with important dates, at least when it comes to our relationship. Unless I happened to write about it somewhere, I don’t know what day it was when we first went out to lunch, or dinner, or a movie, or on a real date at all. After all, I thought we were dating a whole six months before we really were! I could go on about how in the beginning he was terrified to define anything, and I was pretty much ambivalent about it, other than that I wanted him to acknowledge we were more than friends
I remember asking Ally to carpool on a field-trip for our “Food Forever” class1 and E asking if he could join in. It was a drizzly November day, and he and I talked about random things during our walk around the professor’s property2. When Ally dropped us back at school, he walked the long way around with me to get to my bike, since the BMU was locked unusually early.
I remember running into E in the BMU early the next February, orange chicken rice bowl in hand, and hounding him for bar names for AM and I to hit later that night, for our first time out on Chico. Told him he was more than welcome to join us, and was pleasantly surprised when he did. He walked me home, and we stood in the living room for another hour talking before he finally made it back out the door.
I remember him calling me in March, last minute, asking if I wanted to go to a “Black-White” party. ME was adamant that I not go and show that I was available at the drop of the hat, but I had nothing better to do, and I hadn’t been to a “real” Chico party before. Turns out it was a “black-light” party, complete with glowsticks. Our party didn’t amount to much, but there was one with a smash of people and a DJ just around the corner, so we walked over there. It was on the driveway at that house that he kissed me for the first time. And then we made-out like giddy teenagers for the rest of the night.
I remember when the ex somehow decided right before Easter that he wanted me back, and wouldn’t stop calling me on the the phone. It was E that made me feel better, E that took my mind off it by hanging out with AM and her then-boyfriend. And I remember talking to him over IM every night that spring break, when we were home with our parents.
I remember playing a lot of frisbee, a lot of Wii Sports and Super Smash Bros., going to dinner nearly every night towards the end of the semester. I remember that during the last two weeks of the semester that May, I’d see him for only an hour or so each day. Either he’d come to play frisbee between classes, or he’d come pick me up for dinner, and then drop me off right after because he had to get back to studying.
I remember that summer, and how he ended up spending it entirely in Redding, and Ally and I going up there for the water park on a hot day, and how he wouldn’t join us for slides, but did for lunch.
I remember him coming down to Chico for my 26th birthday party, and playing doubles air hockey at the U-Bar, and managing to hit a girl in another room with the puck. And how he spent the night and I thought he was mad at me when we went to sleep because he didn’t move all night long, just laid there on his back.
I remember when school started up again, and my dad having a stroke the week before labor day. I was so stressed out about everything, and I finally decided I would fix the only thing I could, which was a seemingly broken relationship with E. We walked around the creek on campus for a half an hour, after he had told me we were “just friends, for now,” and he listed to me ramble on about my dad, and how my biggest fear was that he would die before I got married3.
I remember drunk conversations that explained so much about why he wouldn’t admit that we were dating, and I remember the absolute giddiness that overcame me when we finally got together. I remember meeting his parents for the first time, and getting a high-five from his dad because I like apple pie.
I remember Thanksgiving being really hard to be apart, and Christmas break, too. I remember my dad putting me on a bus, the day before New Years Eve, to go be with a boy I was in love with and he hadn’t met yet. I remember seeing him at the station, and being so overcome with thrill to finally be with him after two weeks apart. I remember being inseparable from then on.
I remember making my roommate mad because he was always there (sorry!), but not paying any rent. I remember throwing a Superbowl party, and after everyone left, him telling me he loved me for the first time. I remember going to Reno the weekend before Valentine’s Day as a present from his parents, and I remember trading off almost every other weekend between our parents.
I remember going on my first spring break/week long road trip with him, where we had a blast. I remember camping for his birthday. I remember the numerous things he helped me do with Sigma Tau when I promised there’d be food.
I remember (my) graduation, and how hung over and scrubby he was from a bachelor’s party the night before. I remember my dad being entertained by E’s hungover-ness. I remember him holding me that night as I cried for my dad, who had died while we were celebrating a wedding, and his parents driving me home from Redding at 2am with us in the back seat, when I had to turn around and send him back to Chico for his own graduation, because there was no way he was going to miss it.
I remember him coming back to Sacramento the next day, to stay. He’s been with me every day since then, making sure that I do the normal things in life, that I not sink into a deep depression that surely would have overcome me, trying to deal with the monumental changes in my life that I will never be ready for.
Every day I love him more. He’s a huge dork, just like me. We find the same things funny. We don’t get on each other’s nerves—after all, we’ve been together for almost 24/7 for the last four months, and we’ve never fought or tried to escape. He’s pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to me, and the heartache it took to get here (minus my dad dying) was totally worth it.
For our “anniversary”4 I knit him a little campfire. He loves fire and camping, and I love knitting and surprising him. Until I gave it to him last Thursday—couldn’t help it, I had just finished it, and I didn’t know what day our anniversary really was—he had no idea I had been working on it in secret. He made me recount when I had worked on it without him.
I so love a good surprise!
Anyways, this is for him, so when we’re old we won’t forget the highlights of this first year together.
- Which, in my opinion is both the best and stupidest class I took while in school. Best because I met both E and Ally, stupidest because I don’t think I actually learned anything new. [back]
- He was an almond farmer. [back]
- Which, coincidentally happened. Maybe I shouldn’t tell my fears to E? [back]
- Because really, we haven’t been counting down to this, I just knew it was at the end of September some time. [back]
I am in complete denial about my clothing size, obviously.
When I saw this pattern in the spring Interweave Knits, I knew I had to have it. I had the exact perfect yarn—the Knitpicks Shine Sport that was first intended for a bolero sweater that I had to admit to myself that I was never going to wear, even if I ever did finish it.
So, instead I bought the needles needed, and went to town.
For something like five false starts. That’s right, I cast on for this top five times without acknowledging that there was no way it was ever going to fit me.
Last night, though, I picked it up again, working on it while I listened to a book on tape with Erik1. After two more pattern repeats, I had to face the music. Or William Shatner’s voice.
This top is never going to fit.
It’s a beautiful, simple pattern. The yarn feels wonderfully soft and cushy. And this afternoon, I have to rip out everything I’ve done, re-cake the yarn, and cast on for a sixth time for this top.
This time, I’m conceding that I will have to make the largest size. And will even measure myself to ensure that it really will fit at that size. If not, I’ll add enough patter repeats that it does.
Because I really want this top. And I swear, I’m going to wear this top next spring. And it is going to fit. Because I said so.
- We listened to a a book narrated and written by William Shatner. Of course it was a Star Trek book. And of course it was hilariously bad. [back]
