I’m in a terribly bad mood. I don’t want to talk about why I’m in this bad mood–you can pester Josh if you really want to know, since I told him most of it last night–but I want to talk about what being in a bad mood is like if you’re me.
For starters, I don’t want anyone to talk to me. Which, lucky enough for me, I give off the “talk to me and I’ll rip your head off just for fun” vibe, so generally I don’t get bothered. The reason I don’t want to talk about it is because invariably it will lead to tears, and well, I’m so over that at the moment. I’d like to get through the day without crying, thank you.
Secondly, my body feels like it wants to shut down. I’m very lethargic, my limbs ache, and I feel like I’ve run a marathon in my sleep last night. Maybe I did, it’s hard to tell. But right now, I’m aching for a nap, and having to work for the next five hours really isn’t helping me. Also, I’d like to take that nap outdoors, because I feel a desire to be in the sun.
Thirdly, I apparently turn poetic. My head is just one big jumbled mass of a poem, just aching to get out, and so I spend a lot of my bad mood time writing. And narrating in my head. I will probably never be like Wordsworth, recolecting emotion at leasure. I feel it in the moment, and in that moment, I have to write it out of me. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow dawns on at least five crappy poems that maybe one day will see the light of day, after serious reworking.
The worst part about all this though is that my best “lines” happen while I’m walking, and thus can’t write them down. I had some really good angsty stuff going on this morning, but I’d forgotten half of them by the time I could write something down.
So yes, I’m in a bad mood. Nothing horrible has happened–yet; but it was implied that something bad (for me) would happen in the future, and thus the bad mood. And the poetry.
I think I’ll take a very long walk with my dog tonight, work myself out my my lethargy, and imagine some really good poetic lines that I won’t remember when I walk back in the door.
–”Normal Like You,” So Much for the Afterglow: Everclear
Now I crave Everclear. Hope your walk goes better than planned. Maybe you should start a Meme about “How are You when you’re in a bad mood”.
I’m sorry you’re in a bad mood. You ever want to talk, or want to laugh, or what not, you know I’m here.
And Ness says “Hi”
Thanks guys, and Josh? You know you’re my internets BFF. I’ll work myself out of it. It’s just a bad time to be in a bad mood, you know? I’ve got too much stuff to do in the next three weeks (never mind the next three months) to let this linger on for too long.
I’ll figure something out. (and Danny? I’ll post at least one crappy poem on the livejournal within the week.)
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