My dog is rather strange. I don’t know what the people who owned her before did to her, but I’m guessing it can’t be anything good.
While I got Honey from the Sacramento SPCA, they actually got her from Lodi. Whether it was the SPCA or Animal Control down there, I don’t know. Coming from Lodi, the volunteers didn’t know very much about Honey. She’d only been there a few hours when I picked her to come home with me.
She did pass all the tests that they give dogs to see what kind of home she would be good in, but I get the feeling that Honey likes to trick people into loving her. Not that it’s a bad thing.
The first couple days we had her, she was great. No barking, no jumping on furniture, happy to see everyone and not scared of crowds. Things have changed, though. On Sunday, she spent the entire day outside. Not that we made her stay outside. She just wouldn’t come in. I actually had to go out with the leash to get her to come in for bed.
She also didn’t eat anything yesterday at all. I know Honey knows where her food dish is, and it worries me that she’s not interested in any food.
The biggest worry, though, is her apparent fear of people. For the first few days she was fine with all of us, but now she can’t handle more that one of us in a room with her at a time. She’s afraid of my dad, and won’t go anywhere near my mom if anyone else is around.
I don’t think she’s afraid of me, since she sleeps in my room at night, and will not leave her bed in the morning unless I get up and walk her to the dog door. But she doesn’t like it when I’m with other people.
Honey is a fairly good dog. We don’t have to train her much, mostly to not jump up when greeting, and how to come when called, but other than that she’s good. She knows what “no” means, and I think it confuses her when I tell her “no” and then make no move to punish her. It’s not that she’s doing something terribbly wrong, its that she needs to learn what is and isn’t allowed. I do know that a “no” followed by “come here” scares her, so I try to not make her come to me after I’ve told her “no” for something she was doing. I want her to learn that we won’t harm her, but she’s still afraid.
Granted, we’ve only had her a week, but it still seems frustrating, because I hate seeing my dog unhappy. She looks a depressed as a dog can, and I don’t know how to make her happier. I try to be as kind as possible, but I’m still worried.
I suppose eventually things will get better. I just hate waiting.
- “Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning),” Everything You Want: Vertical Horizon
When caring for a dog that may have been abused and/or that has emotional or psychological issues, it’s most important to be consistent, structured and predictable.
Despite the best efforts of Disney to make us think otherwise, animals can think and feel but they are not people. If your pet has been mistreated in the past, it expects to be mistreated again because that’s the only behaviour it knows and understands. Your job is to help it unlearn this, and relearn another way of living and behaving. It’s hard work, and it takes time. Some animals never fully recover from the way they were treated–but that doesn’t mean that they can’t become more social and more enjoyable pets.
Also, keep in mind that as a new owner, you’re a relative stranger to this dog. The dog has been through a great deal of change, and you are a part of that change. It doesn’t know that you love it and are committed to it, that this is its new permanent home, and that you can be trusted not to hurt it. And it may not come to realize this for quite some time.
The key is to not become frustrated (or infuriated) when your dog–who was doing so well one day–backslides, sometimes severely, the next. It’s important to be patient, and to keep in mind that disciplining your dog isn’t about punishing it; it’s about teaching it. By teaching your dog how it should and should not behave, and by helping it understand your behaviour and your expectations, you are helping it lead a better life than it lived before it met you.
There are a few good books on understanding dogs–one is Stanley Coren’s How Dogs Think (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743222326/104-9594364-9035139?v=glance&n=283155). There are also high marks for Deborah Wood’s Help for Your Shy Dog (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0876050364/qid=1152617891/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-9594364-9035139?s=books&v=glance&n=283155).
Some things take time, and this is one of them. It may take a while before you see true progress, but it will happen.
Sounds like you’re doing a good job with her. I’m no expert on abused dogs-we have two, neither of which was abused before we got them. Our first we got when she was about one year old from a city shelter. She was extemely submissive while we were checking her out and then for several days after we brought her home. But then, as she got comfortable with her surroundings, she turned into a freakin’ terror! Nothing bad, but a very crazy dog. Anyway, sometimes they just take a lot of patience and time to get comfortable with new surroundings.
Good luck!
David: Thanks for the advice. The last dog we had was a puppy, and I was ten, so I didn’t do much in training her. I’ll definitely have to check out those books, because when she’s not afraid, I’d like to train her to the point I’ll be able to take her off-leash and not worry about her coming when called. (The last dog never learned that).
Scott: Thanks for the encouragement. I know dogs change over time, and usually it’s a good thing. My boyfriend Dustin has a dog named Twitch, and when I first started dating, he was as hyper as all get-out. Now he’s pretty mellow, getting along with the other animals in the house.
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