My uncle was admitted into the hospital yesterday, and for the first time our family has to seriously adjust the way we think about him and his being a Jehovah Witness.
He is the only Witness in the family, having converted sometime while I was in elementary school. In general, it hasn’t been a big deal for the family. Sure, he doesn’t show up for holidays, and when we do all eat together he says grace first, but other than that, everything has been the same.
However, being admitted into the hospital for internal bleeding for a Witness is very serious indeed. Since they refuse any type of blood transfusion (and no one in the family ever bothered to as the reasoning behind that bit of religious dogma), it was very touch and go for awhile, especially since it was a tear in an artery, and those can’t be fixed except by blood clotting and creating a scab.
Now that he’s out of the woods, my family has to come to grip with the reality that my uncle is willing to die for his religion. That we won’t be able to force him to do anything to save his life. That in all likelihood he will die from something that ultimately treatable.
It’s a sobering thought, to be sure. My uncle is my favorite uncle: witty, sarcastic, a true “Hightower” to the end. My dad and he tell us stories about when they were little and the horrible things they did to each other and to their little sisters. It’s a rather sad thought that one day my uncle won’t be around to tell us these stories as well.
So now, the only think the family can talk about—out of the listening range of my uncle, of course—is that they don’t understand his religion and why he he’s willing to let himself die. Oh, and why did he call a witness instead of his family first.
The last though, is pretty easy. He’s very popular in his congregation, and his best friend (who’s a Witness, of course), lives down the street. When he called for the ambulance himself, he wasn’t sure if he locked his doors, so when he got to the hospital, he called his friend to tell him what happened, and his friend called my cousin. My cousin, in turn called the rest of the family. So, it’s not like he was trying to not let us know. He just called who he knew would be home and not in the middle of something.
In all, it’s a very trying time for the family. Not as bad as when my dad had a heart attack two years ago and would have died if he hadn’t gotten to the hospital , but bad just the same.
My uncle, like any Hightower who has ever been in the hospital, is ready to go home. He was ready to go home yesterday as soon as they had announced he was stable. The doctors want to keep him for a few days, but then he’ll be home, life back to normal and acting like nothing had ever happened. My dad did the same thing. I suppose I will to, if I ever have to go to the hospital.
If you feel fine, you might as well get on with living life, right? But now life is a little different, after having a taste of what could happen if something serious happens to my uncle. However, it’s his choice, and we’ll all have to live with it.
I’m really glad he’s doing better, though. I don’t want that time to come until much later. Like, after me.
—”Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet,” MmmHmm: Relient K.
Lisa: First of all, I am really glad to see that your Uncle is doing ok.
I am more than sure that, if asked, your Uncle would be more than willing to explain to you his reasoning for not accepting blood. I think that after only a few moments, you will realize that his decision is based on much meditation, prayerful study of God’s word, and research that he himself has done. I believe you will see that his decision in this matter is not rash, nor dogmatic in anyway. In fact, even if he was not a Jehovah’s Witness, I’m pretty sure his decision would remain the same.
Lovely writeup of this story. Oh, and welcome to 9rules. You are a great addition to our community.
Colin: Thanks for your kind words.
I understand it’s a personal choice for my uncle, and I accept it even if the rest of the family doesn’t. When I said it was a bit of “religious dogma,” I didn’t mean it in a derogetory way. I was just at a loss for words. What I ment was that everyone who talks about Witnesses, the only thing they can remember about the religion is that in general, they don’t take blood transfusions, and no one knows why. It’s just a random fact people can throw out there, like knowing that Mormons believe they’ll get their own planet when they die.
(And I don’t know if he wouldn’t have not taken a transfusion if he wasn’t a Witness, because he had had blood transfusions before he converted for a serious accident he’d had when younger. But, I know peoples values change as they grow, and his finding god later in life obviously changed his values.)
He’s doing better now. The bleeding has stopped, and as long as he starts producing more blood, he should do well. Although, there is always a chance it could take a turn for the worst, like any medical problems people have.
Likewise I’m glad to hear that your uncle is doing better. I can only imagine the emotions that must have been floating around, slamming into things.
Lisa: I wish your uncle a speedy recovery. I think the only reason “no one knows why” Witnesses do not accept blood transfussions is because they haven’t taken the time to research it – or asked a Witness outright. I can tell you, just briefly, that it is for two very important reasons.
The first of which, and the most important, is because God considers blood very sacred. The second being the risks involved with blood transfussions (though I completely realize it is getting safer and safer as the methods get better).
If you’d like to have a discussion about this, I’d be more than happy to talk to you about it. I consider the Internet the worst possible means of communication on such topics.
Thanks for having an open mind, and for supporting your Uncle in his decision.
Colin: Thanks for explaining it very briefly. I semi-understood previously that it was a “gift from god” and that you shouldn’t take the gift from other people. And your right, no one does bother to research the reasons behind other people’s decisions. I know that no one in my family bothered to ask my uncle why he wouldn’t do it–they just complained to each other about his being “stubborn.” Other than my uncle, we arn’t a very religous family.
While I would love to have the discussion with you
I think I’ll use it as a way to connect with my uncle. I get to see him very rarely these days, and it often seems like we have nothing in common to talk about (as always happens when children grow up). This way I’ll have questions I can ask him, and I’ll get to learn something while he shares with me.
Ben: Thanks for your comment. It was a very hard week for us, and the only thing we could talk about was my uncle. And it’s not very polite to tell someone to stop telling you something they themselves don’t understand (i.e. the blood transfusions), so I had to listen to the same things over and over.
My uncle is doing better–I suppose. They’ve let him go home since the bleeding has stopped and there is nothing more they can do for him. My grandma is with him today, and he’s got a great support group in his church, so I’m sure that he’ll be forced to take it easy, even though he doesn’t want to. He was complaining about not being able to go camping this weekend, actually.