How many times can I say “contraries” in one paragraph without fully understanding what it means? A lot, apparently. And, I’m shocked that I can spell words that I’m not quite sure of the meaning of. I mean, allegories? Who doesn’t have to look that word up to make sure they’re using it correctly. Don’t answer that.

This round of essays sucked so hard. So unbelievably bad. I didn’t know I could write such utter and absolute crap. I am almost sure that the Hamlet essay I wrote senior year in high school was better than the one I turned in Tuesday. And my Brit Lit paper, I think, didn’t answer the most important question of the prompt, which I couldn’t formulate a coherent answer for. Also, no external sources used, which mean I had to make up this crap all on my own. At least there’s no chance of her thinking that I plagiarized,
it’s that bad.

The really really sad thing is that I actually did sit down and do an outline for the essay before I started. Granted, I did it right before the essay, when if I had done it a few weeks ago, I would have had plenty of time to do some actual research. I am a bit shocked that I remembered how to do an outline, I haven’t done one in so long. When I post the essay, I’ll be sure to scan in the outline as well, so everyone can see how I kinda-sorta followed it, but not really.

However, the outlining process leads me to believe it’s not all bad, and I’ll probably try to do it again on the last of my essays. Why I didn’t think of this approach 16 weeks ago, I have no idea. Oh, yeah, because I keep getting the easy A’s, that’s why. I should probably stop depending on those if I plan on transferring next year.

And the worst part has to be that it’s the same teacher, so she’ll get to see me suck it on all levels. I’m almost afraid of the final in Brit Lit now, because I have no idea what it is going to be on, and the in class essays are always harder than the take home ones. Which makes no sense to me at all.

The only good thing that comes from my being done is that there are only two essays left in the term. On in ENGWR 301, on Frankenstein, and the one on education that I’m asking everyone for their help on. Because I really am going to have to use outside sources for that one.

All this crappy essay writing has left me tired beond all belief. I’m still exhausted, even though I managed to get to bed before midnight last night. And I had to bring my laptop to school this morning to bring you this blog post update. Which makes my backpack super heavy, as my Brit Lit book weighs just as much as my laptop.

At least it’s sunny and warm out, which should keep me from trying to sleep durring the day. I have four Math assignments due tomorrow, which I haven’t started because of the essays. I’ll be just as exausted tommorow, as well. Thank god it’ll be Friday, though. That’s the only good thing about the end of the week.

- “Build God, Then We’ll Talk,” A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out: Panic! At the Disco.