I must be the only woman, who when holding an infant, wants one less instead of more.
I went with You to go visit friends I hadn’t seen in a long while, (Long while being four to six months) and who Ireally hadn’t planned on visiting for a long while yet. But, You had renewed the acquaintance, and had invited me to go along with him. I did, because it was either go, or be ditched on a Saturday night, and I wasn’t about to do that again.
Our friends had just had a baby girl four weeks prior, and the moment I sat down, and soon as L. was able, she handed the baby over to me. Which was fantastic, really, because I love holding babies, actually. W. is a good baby, adorable in all the right places, as wiggly as a worm. She was also fussy, and didn’t want to quiet down until I was standing and moving around. Understandable really, because L. was more active at night while she was pregnant, working overnights and such, so it makes sense that W. is now active at night.
However, once W. was in my arms, I was sentenced to hold her for the rest of the evening. The others played Champions of Norath, while I sat in the back, holding the baby. I was really quite annoyed that no one even talked to me because they were so intent on their game, and I didn’t say much because I know Dustin hates it when I talk while he’s playing, so I figured they would to.
By the way, this video-game-playing-while-I’m-left-out is one of the reasons I didn’t particularly care about hanging out with these friends on a regular basis. Not once have they invited me to play with them, even though they play every time we hang out. Depressing, really.
While I was holding the baby for about two hours, I began to think about how when I had a baby, I’d be sentenced to the same fate. I know everyone says it’s different when it’s your own baby, but I think I’d still feel trapped. I remember looking down at W. face, and thinking to myself that I didn’t know if I really wanted to be responsible for such a little thing for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
While I want a baby (just one), holding someone else’s lets me delay in wanting one for that much longer. Which is a good thing, because I don’t see myself having one any time soon.
- “The One I’m Waiting For,” Mmhmm: Relient K
Im sorry Lisa. If you didnt want to hold the baby that long you should have said something. I thought about you being stuck there with the baby, but the only reason i didnt say anything was…… well its not my baby. I felt like it was C’s and L’s job to get up and take care of it.
When i have a baby one day, i promise not to make you hold it while i play video games
You want to hear something disgusting? I never wanted kids. Everyone told me I’d change my mind. It made me really mad when people told me that. How the hell do they know.
I got married to this man of mine. My second marriage. I’m turning 30 soon. I want babies like you wouldn’t believe. I want many. I want to steal everyone’s babies. Have I said much? No. I don’t want all those people who told me I’d change my mind to be right.
*hrmph*
You - I didn’t really mind holding her all night. I just wish I wasn’t left out of the conversation. Not that there was one. It’s like I wasn’t a person anymore to them, just the baby holder. And I better not have to hold your baby while you’re off having fun. I’d rather have the fun with you.
Sachi - I totally understand that too. My brother repeats over and over that he doesn’t want kids, yet all the little ones in our family flock to him like he’s god. I think the want to have babies is directly tied to the want to have YOUR MAN’s baby. I think I’d be perfectly okay to not have children if I wasn’t with Dustin. I know I didn’t even think about babies until he brought it up one day.
Except, of course, that I want to be a surrogate mother, because I know I’ll be happy while pregnant. And if other people want to have babies, I’m all for helping them.
OMG, seriously… have a baby before you decide to do the surrogate thing. I’m a pretty stable and rational human but when I got pregnant and then the pregnancy was no more (found out on the same day that I was pregnant and that I wouldn’t be anymore), I knew right then that I would never be able to carry a baby to term and give it up… just based on the emotion I felt that day.
Oh, I’ve already looked into it.. You can’t be a surrogate mother unless you have already given birth to a child, and are currently rasing it.
I think I could give up a child if it wasn’t biologically mine, because I could separate it from being a part of me, or being along for the ride.
But that’s just me. I know a lot of people couldn’t do it. And Dustin doesn’t want me to ever do it, so it will probably never happen anyway. I was just looking for an excuse to be pregnant more than once, even though I only want one child.