Dear Spammers,
I realize you have to make money. I know that somehow you think sending me the same exact email twenty different times (even though it’s directed to a man which I’m so obviously not) will make me click on whatever link you’re sending me, and I might perhaps buy whatever you’re selling.
You’d be wrong, but I understand. But, really, is it too much to ask that the spam be at the very least grammatically correct?
Your girl is unsatisfied with your pottency?
Don’t wait until she finds another men!
Click here to choose from a great variety of LICENSED love t@bs!
Best pri$es, fast shipping and guaranteed effect! Here you buy it
right from warehouse!
The store is VERIFIED BY BBB and APPROVED BY VISA!
To begin with, if you’re asking a question, it might help if you ask it as a complete sentence, with correct spelling, such as: Is your girl unsatisfied with you potency? Also, seeing the statement “Don’t wait until she finds another men!” leads me to wonder if the girl in question is going to find multiple men, or just one. Please, please either change another to other, or men to man. But, for the love of all that is holy, don’t change both of them.
Also, using the phrase “click here” implies that those particular words are a link, which if I were inclined to click on them, I couldn’t. Changing the “s” to a dollar sign and an “a” to “@” is clever in a pre-teen sort of way, which I don’t think is you’re intended audience, and if it is, maybe you should be re-thinking your marketing strategy. “Here you buy it right from warehouse!” can me multiple things when punctuation is added. Am I buying it right there, or do you mean that I’m buying it directly from the warehouse?
And finally, using all caps for certain words, while bringing attention to them, also leads me to believe that they are FALSE.
Thank you for considering me as future customer, but with these annoyingly awful errors in your emails, you’ve guaranteed that I won’t be purchasing any LICENSED love t@bs from you. Not that I needed them anyways, since I’m the one who’d be finding another men.
Sincerely,
Me
Leave a Reply